my mom called and said that my grandfather is in a very weak state. she's going to our province probably this week. i don't know, i seem to feel very awkward. though i don't know my grandfather too well, it's kind of scary to think that he's almost going to depart into a space not of our own, you know.

this may sound mean but i'd prefer him dead. see, i'm mean. but i say that out of concern. you see, he's already old (obviously, but still i note just in case you still haven't figured that out yet) and he already knows much about this world, and this world has nothing in store for him anymore. besides, he's blind now, and his only guide to the world are his hands and feet and ears.

i ache inside every time i see him. he isn't in a home that would shelter him enough from the forces (because my mom, for some unreasonable...reason, had it reconstructed and was planning to sell it while people, including lolo, was still staying there), and he was accompanied by people, caring but still, nevertheless, cold.

and i remember how i don't mind him calling me "jennelyn". no matter how many times me and others would try to correct it with "julienne", he would still call me that.

he deserves a lot better than this life. i pray that he will be guided to the right place, just in case he has to go. death is a part of life, it's not the opposite. it's the implacable fate that we all must accept for we all must go through it, too.

the only thing i regret is how i cannot hug and say, "i love you, lolo" to my grandfather in his time of pain. i hope my prayers shall deliver them for me.

viva~! we have a new printer! it's going to get a lot easier with projects now. T_T

to whom it may concern: i may not be as girly as a girl should be, and i may be confused with my sexuality at times, but take this note: i'm not a tomboy.

screw you. haha. for screwing poor li'l me.



hehe. ayos ba? XP

hoy, tang ina ka! magtatagalog ako ngayon! mwahaha!

ano pa ang ikatitira ng utak ko kung di sabit at topak? unang quarter pa lang. ikaapat na linggo pa lang. nakailang pagsusulit na kami, at kay raming pagkasandamukal na gawaing bahay at upuan... leche!

di ako makablag. tae. nakakablag lang ako ngayon kasi naghanap ako ng mga ibig sabihin ng mga terminolohiya sa ekonomiks. hinahalungkat ko rin sa buong internet ang kinalalagyan ng mga mineral dito sa pilipinas. heller?! parang, anong pakialam ng mga gumagawa ng webpage dun? eh ang website nga ng DENR wala eh. tang ina talaga.

mabuti na lang at pumapasa ako sa geometerywee. pati sa noli me tangere. sa chem, ayos lang naman, nakakaconvert na ako ng mga kalechehan. haha. may gagawin nga kaming pagsasanay sa laboratoryo bukas eh. paksyet, nakalimutan kong bumili ng goggles para dun. punyeta.

ano pa bang kalechehan? ah, ayun. medyo natanggap ko na ang pagkapanalo ni gloria. sabi ng ng isang political analyzz (social, davha?), nagkakagulo lang ngayon kasi paghantong daw ni gloria, sasabihan na niya ang nanggugulo na tigilan na, at susundan yun ng mga nangugulo kasi kakampi sila ni pang-gulo arroyo. ayos ka tsang! volta!

tang ina. mawawang-bu na ako dito. ayoko na! tang ina talaga lahat! eto, kalechehan, ginawa kong hapon ang kantang love fool ng the cardigans, kasi na-lss ako dun mga ilang araw na.

RABU FURU

love me, love me, "ai sh'te" sae mo
fool me, fool me, ai jodan ni
love me, love me, sekai no uso de
leave me, leave me, dai setsunai

its'mademo ai shiteru.

tangina ka, di ko yan inaalay para sayo! inaalay ko yan kay JOSE PROTACIO MERCADO RIZAL Y ALONSO REALONDA. tokwa!

fae tagged me, "miss ko na entries mo."

dearie, so do i. believe me, so do i.

i have just been to busy in school. it's only been at least three weeks but there wasn't a day that i wasn't free from schoolwork. i was able to use the computer for school purposes! gladly, it's working fine now, but i'm still paranoid so i won't do unneccessary activities now with my pc. wah...!

cle. well, nothing's up much with that, the only thing that strikes me is that my cle teacher and advisor (note there's no my before advisor, meaning he's only one person) has such big similarities with squidward tentacles. social is okay, we're going to take ancient egyptian civilization soon and i think my teacher will help with her mirriam defensor-santiago accent.

computer. i'm so enjoying computer now with visual basic, well, compared to pascal anyway. and mr. panis (note, pilipinos, it's pronounced pah-nis, not pan-is) is making it so enjoyable. he reminds me of comedian long mejia and he's as funny as him too. filipino. i'm going to go insane with ms. rabina with her egyptian eyeliner and punching sense of humor. jose rizal and noli me tangere seem like an interesting topic for me so i guess it's okay.

p.e. well, i'm not doing anything in p.e., even if i'm supposed to, because i just don't feel like it. besides, i'm going to take special p.e., rock climbing, in july. h.e. i don't understand my teacher. she doesn't like calling me. how do i know? because she hasn't called me. in all our three meetings, she hasn't called me for recitation even once. she does broaden my concern for political matters because economics is our main subject and that relates with politics so that's a plus for her. research is a new subject which will help us in future thesis making and defending, but our teacher is kinda... well, i don't like her too much.

chemistry hasn't been so hard because we've only been doing reviews lately. no elements or numbers yet, except for the scientific notation and the significant figures. our teacher is always smiling, it's creepy. so far i haven't had much trouble in geometry, even if our passing grade standard increased from 60% to 70% this year. mr. trinidad isn't such a good lecturer (for me), but i'm glad he tells us how to apply what we're learning. and he always does these cool number and card tricks which he says are all made possible by math power. oh well, just as long as i pass, i'm okay with math. hehe.

anyway, yesterday my class got lucky compared to all the other 40 something sections in the high school because we were chosen to be representatives to the mass of the something something in manila cathedral, intramuros. it was kinda fun because we had more time bonding in the bus and in the stopover than hearing that special mass. and i'm so attracted to archbishop gaudencio rosales' voice. haha. blasphemous. here are some pics of me and some classmates:



for a high average class, we are kind of unruly and noisy. hehe. screw stereotypes! you can't believe how strongly my classmates react when teachers tell them we're nerds. lol. well, better be nerds than geeks.

anyway, i and death and possibly victor might watch kulimlim later. it's a filipino "horror" movie but despite that me and death want something new and we just want to check it out. he needs to lift himself out from depression and i need at least a short break from all the schoolwork, so we decided to watch. besides, we're asian horror movie fanatics, so why not watch kulimlim? isn't that asian? we're not expecting it to be as scary as its korean and japanese conterparts, but give flips a chance.

besides, it beats watching volta. we'd be ultimately bored if we would. (we did think about it though...) nyaha.