hug me.

i swear, i have, like that song by that long haired bucktooth guy in pink who's band starts with A which i keep on forgetting, so little time, so much to do. but what the hell am i doing?

doing what i'm good at, of course. stay up all night, sleep the whole fucking day.

if you want to see a true-to-life urban sloth who could probably resemble a common homo sapien such as you are, then just go here, folks! [-INSERT ADDRESS HERE-].

well, enough of that, i have decided that i quit the slacking for a moment and am currently doing a synopsis for my literary analysis in english. gah... i'm only in the first half of the story and i've used up one and a half pages already.

that's one trouble when you're good at playing with words. you don't know how NOT to be wordy and often fail SUMMARIZING in english class.

anyway, i'm going to watch DISNEY ON ICE tomorrow with my elder cousins. teehee... i don't mind the immature sense of fun i'll be having tomorrow, in fact, i feel i will enjoy it! ^^ i enjoyed the event last year and hey... this might be the first remarkable event i'll experience this year, considering how i wasted the first day of two zero zero four by sleeping my ass off during the half of it.

plus on the last weekend of the vacation, the most DRAMATIC i've had so far (you can't imagine how much i wish to go back to school), i wish to spend it with my friends, so i'm gonna call them all tomorrow while waiting for my ride to DOI and ask if they're free (and hopefully they are) so that we could hang out.

meanwhile, i feasted on a few tests. just to release some tension. i'll be back to that synopsis in a few minutes so, yeah. later.



What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hmm... since i'm not anybody's BOO yet, i guess i can say i'm a sensitive girl friend. even without the friend. yeah. sensitive friend. =D

this one is weird... i'm not like that but i enjoyed the picture. lol.


If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
brought to you by Quizilla



What kind of girl are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

yeah. no comments here. =P

oh yeah. the band above which i described was arkarna....

so little time, so much to do
i'd rather spend my day with you
but if that day is not enough
maybe we can stay in touch
but i'm not making plans for tomorrow
for tomorrow never comes.

edit\i got amused by one of my classmate's testimonial for me. anime-y?

Jei...one of the most interesting people I know...In short, napaka- weirdo! Joke lang...pero totoo. Hehehe. Para siyang anime cartoon... Laging nagpapatawa, tapos pag nakakasama ko, naiimagine ko na yung anime-y things...yung tipong huuuuuge drop of sweat...parang ganun. Hehe...Masaya sobra...ang interesting ng mga sinasabi nya...not the usual kind of conversations you'll have with just anyone else. Tapos super talino at sobrang creative! Talented, sobra. Tahimik lang, pero pag nakausap mo, wow, nakakabileb. :) Last year ko lang naman siya talagang nakausap eh...kaya ayunnn. Masayaaa! Hehe :) Good luck in everything and take care.

translation:
(Jei... one of the most interesting people i know... in short, she's very weird! Kidding.. but it's true. hehehe. she's like an anime cartoon. always cracking up jokes, and when i'm with her, i can imagine those anime-y things... like those huuuuuge drop of sweat... something like that. hehe... she's very fun... and she says a lot of interesting stuff... not the usual kind of conversations you'll have with just anyone else. and she's super smart and super creative! talented, a lot. she's mainly quiet, but when you get to talk to her already, wow, impressive. :) last year was the only time when i really got to talk to her, so theeerrre. Fuuuun! hehe :) good luck with everything and take care.)

hehe... i'm like an anime? i don't know how to feel.. lol lol lol.

If you don't know what circadian means, it is the totally defunk generic term for "body clock". mine is hopefully not adjusting to my california time-based mode of sleeping. gak.

as you all know, i spent january 01 sleeping half of it. i woke up probably six a.m. yesterday, and ho ho ho, i haven't slept a wink since that time. ugh... i REALLY tried to sleep, but i just can't fight it. so i got frustrated and immedeatly asked for breakfast when my maid got up and after eating i headed straight up to the computer to accomplish that literary analysis thing. i finished the synopsis and the analysis, which is hopefully correct, and all it needs now is the biography which i will not do any sooner because my english teacher would still instruct us on how to make a, umm, "proper" one.

randomly, in the middle of the wee hours of the morning, i thought about my foster brother, francis. i don't know if i mentioned it before (but i think i did) but this would be the last year i would live with him. you see, his parents and our foster parent's son got into this big fight, and they are only staying for the kids to finish their schooling here in CSA for the school year. thinking that there are only at least three more months from now before it's adios, francisco!, i can't imagine how sad i'll be.

or how sad HE will be.

i must admit that he and his family did take advantage of my foster parents, but now that things happened as they did, the change in francis' attitude is very evident. most of the time he is this annoying little brat who does nothing but follow you around and torment you with his persistence and worse, he wouldn't listen when you scold him. i remember that francis was such an annoying little cockroach that i punched him even when he was only a five year old mischievous crybaby back then. still, i guess it's like that when you have little brothers. i really felt this connection with him, that even when we exchange tricks with each other, we were concerned or at least cared for one another. that mischievous and playful attitudes would show that connection rather than indifference with one another.

but soon, he'll be leaving. my foster mom's complaint about how francis would go back and forth to the room just to ask where i was would become only a distant memory. i could never play blue moon in the piano again without remembering and missing him, which i feel even if he's still here. i would also long for the times where we would outplay and outwit each other, like how i'm better at convincing him into tricks or how he's better at climbing (and getting down from) roofs.

i still wish for an older brother, but in the remaining time i'll be with francis, i have to admit, a younger brother is just as good. he can comfort me in difficult situations such as attending family gatherings and the likes, making me feel that i'm superior to at least one of the people there. hehe. plus how he messed up my life just to show signs of affection.

you can see a great change in him. i know he knows how the things are really going, but he just remains silent. too silent compared to his boisterousness before. he is also very polite and resilient, even if i feel he wants to combust already.

and just recently, this bastard struck him with a toy gun at the face which gave him a pretty large wound... and that happened during new year's eve, a day he chose to spend with us, with me, rather than his own family. i really wished i could hug and comfort him, but i just told him,

"it's all going to be okay."

sorry. i had to let that one out. i'll sleep a bit, so i would at least have an ounce of energy in watching disney on ice later. hehe. i'll post about that probably tomorrow because definitely i'll crash the bed once i arrive home.

btw, i also so the trial broadcast of this upcoming anime channel, animax. hmm... another reason to turn the tv on for 24 hours. ahaha... i also think that the network that runs axn asia also runs animax, so that means one good thing: reliable subtitles. hehe.

later.

(btw, don't mind my song of the moment. i usually associate with that song when i'm sad. lol)

i came home last night at 11 pm, kinda late for blogging, so here goes.

oh yeah, disney on ice was awesome! it was simpler than the doi two years ago, but i'm not complaining. they performed a skating rendition of beauty and the beast, and they were pretty good, as usual.

hehe... most of the scenes were nice, but only a few scenes will bring back that dormant childish awe in everyone. hehe. plus they had real good settings and pyrotechnics. hehe...

i do have a little complaint about mrs. pots, though. her eyes are, like, rolled upward... she seemed stoned from afar. hehe.

after the play, i bought some souvenirs... lumiere and cogsworth beanbags! hehe. death's sister was playing with them a while ago. well, me too... hehe...

and people say i can be quite mature for my age. lol. well, i am both a child and an adult. that's probably because, i am... what's that word? oh, yeah.... a teenager.

hehe. after that we went to this nearby carnival. it was everything but peaceful. it had a few rides and the place was only small, but in case you didn't know, i'm a carnival freak. an extreme ride freak, even. that's why i didn't mind so much and i get really upset when i go to carnivals with wusses.

anyway, before i rode my first ride, the viking, which is like this big ship that swings back and forth bringing you almost 90 degrees up, there were these two fags who had a catfight. my cousin said that they might have needed some attention so bad. but the show must go on. seconds before we moved, i told my cousin, "now you will know the definition of gravity." hehe. so as the viking swinged higher and higher, i forgot about everything.

then we rode this mini roller coaster. it was okay. it didn't have any loops so the plunges were the most exciting parts there.

then our last ride was this ride called "taga-disco" (disco people). it was this really weird ride wherein you enter this circular thing and there are no seatbelts and the handles are behind you. it turns around and around and it springs up and down simultaneously. unlucky for us, some wasted teenage gang rode with us. they were like, a dozen of them, lots of boys and a few girls, and they were obviously drunk. most of them went into the center of the ride while it was on, then were throwing slippers at each other, then exchanging places during the ride. the usher warned them lots of times, but they just wouldn't listen (hey, would you if you were influenced by alcohol and having the time of your fucking life?).

after the ride, the ushers didn't let the riders go at once, and they called security. when we got down, there were these guards talking and yapping and pointing here and there, but no matter how you look at it, they weren't really doing anything.

sigh... anyway, what really made my day was my two year old niece, J. j for jermainne. hehe... she's really cute and cuddly, she's like a japanese doll and she points to a mcdonald's logo and says, "hey, it's e-i-e-i-o, oh!" we didn't get it at first but then we suddenly remembered that "old mcdonald had a farm" song. hehe... my cousin's boyfriend said, "most kids would learn to say MCDO easily because it's so easy to pronounce, but THIS kid would rather sing it for us!" hehe... she made us all laugh.

i would upload her irresistible picture when my cousin sends it to me. ^_^

well, one more day to waste before school arrives! tomorrow, i think i'll be shopping for MY christmas gifts, since most people gave me money for christmas. later.

well, sleeping the whole day was the best way i can waste my last day of vacation.

but the truth is, i can't wait to go back to school!

i'm tired of all the drama and ennui found everywhere i go. it's time for some chaos, immaturity, behavioural reports and heck, even STRESS to lay the boredom off my back. hehe.

i think i slept two-thirds of the vacation and everytime i'm awake, i can relate to the song, "the stranger" by a perfect circle, especially the line, "what am i to do with all this silence?". sigh.

well, according to feng shui and astrology and numerology, 2004 is going to be one destructive year. hehe.

feng shui says that the bidecade cycle of metal has reached it's last, and there's going to be lots of bad events from the transition of metal to earth. plus the year of the wood monkey isn't at all good. the monkey is a metal element, and metal and wood don't go together. it's like, shall we put it this way, um... illegal logging. the wood wants growth, but the metal deters that.

western astrology may compliment with that theory. you see, this year, jupiter (or saturn? i forgot), the planet for broadness, infinity and possibilties will face virgo, a sign of restriction. so the two don't really agree with each other, and it will all lead to restraint.

i forgot what numerology said.

anyway, why believe in the movement of astronomic bodies? well, this filipino astrologer pointed out that these stellar bodies' movements affects the earth, right? specifically, it affects bodies of water, which explains high tide and low tide.

and isn't our body made up of 70% water?

kind of logical reason, if you ask me... hehe... but i know that not all of you are interested in these things as much as i am, but i still believe that we can prevent bad things from happening andwe should not be fatalistic all throughout.

edit: click this. you will never view soy sauce the same way again.

let me explain my absence from the past couple of days:

nothing special happened.

hehe... i also had no particular thoughts on things whatsoever. i am busy (and happy) in school and as for the rest of the day, i doze it off.

although i laid dormant for some time, some funny shit did happen today.

first was on english time. victor accused teasingly the one in front of him to have farted. i'm not sure if he really knew that, but the guy he teased said, "you wanna die early? if you're gonna tell other people about that, you're gonna die!" the problem is, the farter, though his fart was discreet, he wasn't. so the people around looked at him in an eerie way when he provoked victor so me and victor burst out laughing.

boy, was he embarrased. he could've just said, "idiot..." or he could've even denied it, but saying that... lol.

his seatmate, while seeing victor burst out laughing, told him, "hey, quit that victor. all that laughing may make you fart!" then when the farter talked to his seatmate about something, his seatmate cut in and said, "what? fart?"

hehe... the people who knew about that little gastric incident bothered him the whoooole day.

but that wasn't all. when math came, one of these punks in our class had a pack of mini-pillboxes (which are like small pebbles of gunpowder) and those thingies make a little exploding sound when it hits a surface hard.that guy threw some at the platform where our math teacher was standing. primarily, the math teacher ignored it, but one of the pillboxes hit him somewhere in the legs.

there was a little comedy on pointing out who threw the pillbox at him, but let's just say that the math teacher became bitter during the whole period.

some punks, they learn. but that guy? that'd be the day.

for other things, i just found out that my application in the the web log review staff has just been approved. yay? hehe... i thought it was unlikely for me to be chosen. hehe. but hey, i'm gonna review some blogs, hopefully review 'em good, and i'll finally contribute to the blogging world. hehe...

so if you see a reviewer named machi, that would probably me.

anyway, i'm posting right after dismissal time because i got a lot of studying to do tonight. plus it's exam week next week too. *sigh*... this is such a hectic way to start a year.

*fart*... oops... hehe. excuse me!

how do you know if you're bored?

well, you're bored if you have just watched five hours of tv locked up in your room, then you finally step out of your room just to go downstairs to the living room for some more tv.

all this insufferable boredom is going to make me insane.

and it's only saturday. there'll be other weekends i'd have to strive to survive. but what about semestral breaks? summer vacation??

and if you're thinking that it's not as bad as it sounds, well guess what. it is.

edit: well, the internet is home to people who have no practical use of their time in the physical realm. take this for instance. it's so cute... but it's pretty useless. talk about boredom.

edit2: i was so bored, i made a blinkie. can someone shoot me? by the time some of the letters blink, read the static message. btw, the idea came from this 80's movie the revenge of the nerds. teehee.

*SCREAMS*

i don't know why i love hot and spicy chicken. my tongue burns and my lips swell and my stomach becomes acidic. still, i just can't stop eating them.

and to think spicy food is bad for the voice, or so they say. in a few hours, i'll be auditioning for this church choir because i have to enter a group for a parish or civic involvement program for school. i see no point in joining these groups just because you're grade is on the line. although i love singing and i did have thoughts of entering a choir, i don't feel like joining now at all.

i'm going to sing my immortal. i don't have trouble with the coda... i have trouble with the first stanza! and that's really weird if you know the song.

hehe. and the deadline of this parish involvement thing is tomorrow. T_T

anyway, earlier today, i attended mass in the chapel at our school. during the offertory, there were these cute toddler siblings, a boy and a girl, who were holding hands while they carried the collection basket to the altar. the boy is older, by the way.

it made me realize two things, but i guess i've mentioned all these before. first is i still desire to have an older brother. it's like we'd always fight and tease each other and fight over space but he'd always take care of me and be like my boyfriend at school and everyone would adore him but he'll only center on me. lol. that sounds so teenybopper.

but i don't have one, so i'll live with it. it's not bad to think about it, though.

next realization was how i'd much prefer a younger brother as an alternative for an older brother. there would still be the fights, but no matter what i'd do he'd always look up to me and at least i would feel a little superior whenever he's around. hehe. that used to be my foster brother francis' role before, but now... well, you know. he'll be leaving in two months and he's already giving me hints on how it'd feel without all that noise and ruckus since he doesn't spend the weekends here anymore.

*sigh* well, good luck to me in the choir audition.. lalala.

so... how did the audition go?

audition...? what audition?

well, i got to know the choir and the choir master, but i didn't go through an audition. people were busy because they were hearing mass so he said that we'll just go through the audition on tuesday.

oh. okay.

i wouldn't say that it was worth the wait, because it wasn't, but a lot of things happen during my ONE HOUR AND THIRTY MINUTE WAITING FOR MY FRIENDS. ^_^

first, i was waiting for everyone else who will audition and spiderman, the choir member who will lead us around. while i waited, there were a group of college girls who just came from shopping and watching a movie, i think. they kept on talking about lord of the rings, lord of the rings, lord of the rings. hehe.

when i was about to go home, me and spiderman ate at mcdonalds. he was the one who lined up in the queue, so i was left waiting again. then the people nearby talked about, guess what? lord of the rings.

hehe... bought head bangers ball. i know half of the whole album. lol. most of them were taken from artists and songs from the freddy vs. jason album. hehe. the others, well i just know.

i still can't find a chevelle cd. can someone just send it to me?

lol. you see, my lower lip has this deep partition in the middle which nobody seems to notice. actually, it had been years from now since my nanny kept on commenting about my lips, it's supposedly like this local actress's named judy ann santos who also has that partition in the lower lip.

a while ago in school, victor seemed to notice and he said, "you're lips are strange... they have this partition...

they're like two very red butt cheeks!"

lo. it was a joke, but i got very conscious by that that i hid my lower lip by biting it or covering it with my mouth. ehehe.

everyone is pulling me down, somehow. and it's only the first month of the year. for one thing, my grades are skyrocketing downward, the jerks at my class still bother me, and of course, i'm still hopeless with these pointless conceptions of l-o-v-e. hehe... i wanted to give up on everything.

plus my sleep is becoming... ugh... normal. no! i sleep early and i wake up early. how can that be? am i going to die...? no! i don't wanna die a virgin!!! (idea from harris.)

i kept thinking about that while i was going home. before i went out the gate, there were two girls of the same batch who were talking about something, but when i came across them, one of them said,

"oh well. i'll get over this shit."

hehe... those were the words which she mentioned while i passed right beside her. ^_^ hehe... while i was thinking of those bad things.

that coincidence sort of made me feel good. hehe.

i registered another tabulas account before but up until now, i didn't know what to do with it.

hehe. i'm going to make a "thought for today" kind of journal. more information regarding that coming soon.

back to my life, which i truly love and hate, it's in exam week mode. pc, pc and more pc until the night comes. that's when i wrack up on my studying.

it may be called cramming to most, but i would like to make use of the term, "using stress". under time pressure, i'm more consentrated and my adrenaline is pumping which will help in memorizing everything in a not-so-but-almost photographic memory.

but now since my i sleep earlier than normal, i would probably be all frustrated and moody and sleepy by the time 10 pm comes. geez.

exams were a bummer. first of all, our social studies teacher didn't make our test, so i knew only at least 60% of the questions.

we had a long break before the english exam. i was re-reviewing (since i already reviewed last night) my activity sheets and notes when there were these group of third or second graders, two girls and a couple of boys, who played basketball in the covered court. i was in our canteen, and that canteen by the way overlooks the covered courts.

i stopped reviewing just to watch them. if i fail english, i'll blame it on the kids. hehe.

i was so impressed by how the little children played, especially the girls. the girls outbeat the boys! how they maneuver and how they shoot from a three point range (and getting the ball in, a lot of times) is totally superb, even if you don't consider the fact that they're probably not even half of the age of the world's greatest basketball players, and also the fact that they're only 3 ft 5" to 4 ft tall.

my classmates, who were sitting on the benches in the covered court, kept on cheering and "woah"-ing, especially if it's the girls who made the shot.

they kinda inspired me. yeah right. lol.

btw, victor has a new layout. it was actually based on my idea of paper bag girl. i don't even have credit!! T_T

kidding. of course i don't mind. i was even flattered because he did such a great job with my concept. it started out when we were doodling during english class, and i told him spontaneously that someday, i'll go to school with a paper bag on my head (the design on the paperbag girl face is like the one on paper bag boy's) then i'll be holding a knife upright while walking. hehe.

after i drew paperbag girl, i drew some doodles of... uh... giraffes. happy giraffes (giraffes smoking weed). giraffe vegetation (giraffe in weed farm). stoned girrafes (on a rock). giraffe foreplay (giraffe licking another giraffe). interspecies (giraffe and dolphin... ugh... mate-ing). hehe.

shoot me. now. lol.

the fellowship of the ring is the most thrilling and intensifying. the two towers has greater battle scenes (actually that movie was a collection of battle scenes.) the return of the king has more drama, but it's not as good as the first two, but it still gives you a great sense of fulfillment and is a great ending to the trilogy.

but before i expound on that, let's begin from the start...

today is our last day of examinations, so as usual, we go out to the mall!

i went with victor (as usual... man, i hope no one will think we're a koppuru!!!), his friend anton, donna and the twins from my group of lunch and recess friends, my sister in school, micah, and her little brother mitchell. mitchelle. mitchel. whatever...

we watched lord of the rings, the return of the king. i would say that the first two volumes were better, but it wasn't bad. i wasn't as awed as i was in the first two volumes, but maybe because i wasn't watching in these mega moviehouses where the sounds of the movie were so loud that my pants reverberated. but it's still a must-see, especially for those who saw the first two parts.

viggo was hot as usual. to the people of middle earth, viggo mortensen is aragorn. hehe... orlando bloom was trying to look cute as usual. but he had this one scene wherein he climbs up this monster elephant, shooting arrows at the eastern enemy people... he was hot in that scene.

viggo looked so much like jesus christ. when he was crowned king of middle earth in the movie, anton said, "jesus christ the king!". hehe... makes sense.

btw, i adopted gandalf as my grandfather. hehe.

btw, have you people noticed that magneto in x-men and x2 is gandalf too? i only realized that now even if i have watched all five movies (the xmen, x2 plus the lotr trilogy). hehe. agent smith of the matrix is also elrond (the father of arwen) too. i also realized that now.

wow. they both star in blockbuster movies, and not just any blockbuster movies, but trilogy blockbuster movies. still, not everyone knows their real names. sad.

so i do my part and give their names to you hobbits. BOW DOWN AND PAY REVERENCE.
gandalf/magneto: IAN MCKELLEN
agent smith/elrond: HUGO WEAVING

when we finished, we went around to some music shops since donna wanted to find this tape. i bought a new cd bag because my old one is already overloaded (almost half the cd bag had two cds per leaf). then i saw jay chou's cd. wee... i wanted to marry him. he's not the bling bling rapper asian kinda guy, but he's not like the never-gonna-stop- never-ever-stop- ain't-gonna-give-you-up type either. (sorry, vanness wu fans!)

i ate at mcdonalds with victor before we went home. hehe. when we were about to go home, he didn't know if he would ride a taxi or ride the train, but i almost practically left him. hehe. my ride was in the middle of the road beeping at me, causing traffic and all so i ran off after i said a quick "bye" to victor. he didn't seem to have heard it.

when i got in the car, i realized that i left my jay chou and cd bag in mcdonald's! i was running. good thing the staff recovered it.

i ran back and forth the mall to get jay chou back! that's enough reason for him to marry me! hehe.

when i arrived home, someone spanked my butt cheek. wow.

it's jay chou's birthday tomorrow. haha.

that's all there is to post. moronic, huh? ^_^

i'm a big fat moron. jesus christ, am i in love?

no way. i just like jay chou so much. so here, a new layout - uploaded on the eve of his birthday. haha! it's centralized for a change. no complex layouting for me. i've grown weary of all that trying all day for trying the layout subject blend with the background. i'll try borders, boxes, and boring clean layouts for now.

i'll also put up with tabulas' manner of lessening the quality of the JPEG pics i use for the layouts i make (sorry if to top image seems as if there's plastic wrap over it... it's server conservation.) i also made content pages of some of my galleries, because i don't want them to ruin my tables.

for those who asked me to make them a layout even before i made this layout, i'm sorry. no juices running. i promise they'll be up next week.

sorry sorry and sorry!!! but i think kamS and death are used to my procrastination since i've made layouts for them lots of times before.

bah. i am a sicko. all this jay chou is turning me into a fangirl. haha...

victor, i want my daddy!!! hehe. i'll expound on that someday.

well, since my thoughtless for today is about fathers, i would like to talk about them.

my foster dad is the epitome of a good father. not so cold, but very just, concerned and practical, and smart. who doesn't want a smart dad? only, whenever i'm around him, it doesn't feel as if he is the father i wanted, or the father i didn't have while growing up. he's more like a grandfather.

maybe i'm ignorant because there's a lot of things about fatherhood i don't know about.

my stepdad is just like some uncle who is very carefree and he wouldn't be as strict and disciplinary as he would be with my stepsister. besides, he's a young fellow, and the lesser age gap between me and him compared with me and my mom is advantageous for me.

my real dad, well, judging from experience, i would say he was a big ass, but then again, who am i to judge him? he wasn't there, which also means that i don't know him enough to judge him.

but my mom admitted that when i was born, he wanted to see me so much.

you see, hobbits, my dad had his own family even before he met my mom. they met in japan (that's why i'm durable because i am made in japan) and there, you know where that would lead. when i was born, my mom didn't want him to see me, and i'm not really particular on why. maybe it's guilt? i don't know.

even if i practically don't care for his existence, i still kinda long for a father figure. when i am alone, left to think, i would sometimes ask myself, "i wonder what traits i got from him?" or "i wonder if his kids and wife know about me?" and even "i wonder if he had a son before he got together with my mother, maybe i have my all time desire - an older brother!"

but i am only left to wonder. i would ask my mom about him occasionally, but she only recalls about her memories with him in japan, or maybe that's the only thing she wants to tell me.

hehe... being dadless makes me a retard. i adopted my cle teacher as my dad. he would be a cool dad... very unmediocre. he's the one who teaches religion but it would be like taking rehab or going to a psychology seminar. he's also a believer in the other side, having a third eye (or so he claims), and he's also the one who sees colors streaming out of people. haha...

that weirdo... he texted me when he saw me and that guy who wants to be famous (hehe... just kidding!) sitting together in the canteen. he also calls micah, my school sister, "SON" (god knows why), and so she calls him "DAD" in reply. hehe...

but enough of that. it's getting kinda scary. lol lol lol.

and i would like to add that out of the many saints we have in our religion, i only really talk to god the father in my night prayers. no angels, no mama mary, no jesus. just god the father. i also personalize my prayers, so that it would be more heart-to-heart.

so go check out my TLFT if you would agree with it or not.

hehe... i still don't care about my dad/s, but it would be fun to have an official one. geez.

i'm gonna end up a lolita, aren't i?

it's annoying.

my school sister has her own tabulas. i command you to shower her with love.

i'll just notify that i might be absent for a few days. i'm really working on my domain and i believe that it should be released on february, otherwise i should just forget the whole thing.

nobody visits me here anyway.

poop.

lol. i'm here. i just said in my previous post that i'll be absent for a while.

well, the cia came to my house today and told me that i needed to blog or else they'd send inhabitants from pluto to abduct me and lick my underarms.

hah. no way. as if that cia issue actually goes outside the usa, although that pluto thing may be possible.

anyway... i am here because there are no signs of productivity coming. at. all. i have been staring at the image i made for my wallpaper archive for my upcoming domain to make more out of it. i have been doing it for 20 minutes already.

maybe i'll blog, i thought.

i'll try to blog something witty. or depressed. or funny. currently i'm just bored but it's only the kind of boredom wherein i cannot produce anything but mere inanity. bummer.

anyway, nothing is wrong or right with me, since starting from today, i'm a self proclaimed goddess of infinity, so i'll just post a little something about other earth people.

in class, there were two hobbits who had a really tough fight. i was just fooling around with my friends when these two boys started hitting each other.

oh my god. er... oh my me. it was like watching the matrix, except that instead of the delayed action sequences, it was actually time-lapsed to go faster.

lol. they were like having a catfight. one boy was throwing punches at him as if he were the flash, and while punching back, the other one was in a position similar to the matrix's neo dodging backward to avoid the bullets. he would execute an occassional kick, which would, more often than not, occassionally miss.

what made them look more stupid was they really had to fight just seconds before the teacher came.

our math teacher, the faggot i sometimes talk about, had some sweet, silent revenge. while he was discussing statistics, he made use of blind items in his sentences. you know, it's like talking and hitting someone indirectly at the nose. well, we still think he's gay, but we like him better that way, that cheery mischievous exaggerated way.

it doesn't make math any conducive or interesting, but hey... we're young. we don't take life seriously.

also, i might be going to hong kong with death someday. i don't know when, and i don't really wanna, but just having death around will make it okay.

you see, my foster dad won tickets for two to hong kong, and seeing us in buddy buddy mode all the time, he considered giving the tickets to us, with him and his wife being enormously tired of going back to hong kong.

of course i'm thrilled, but i am also hesitant. what the fuck am i gonna do in hong kong? i don't even have money to shop. just being with death's mom, who's also gonna come along (only she has to buy her own ticket), is gonna make it uncomfortable. hehe, i will try to be a more pleasant friend of death, which from what i heard, i wasn't to her eyes, but she's more understanding and logical than death's dad.

and these chinese people will look at me and will have many views about me. i'll be either a domestic helper, a prostitute or a terrorist. wee... and i can't do anything because it'd be like an individual versus a whole country.

then again, i am a goddess. hah.

what insolence. haha...

it has been quite a while, huh? i myself thought i was dead, but i was not, to my dismay.

well, i have been absent in school for two days now, and the reason, honestly, is exaggerated sickness. hehe. that means i can withstand the minor pain i'm feeling whether i'm in school or not, but i choose not to.

is it because i don't want to stress myself with new lessons? is it because i have two quizzes? no... i'm just lazy. haha.

so in the morning, there i was in my room, channel surfing. i just realized that there's nothing much worth watching in tv during the morning, so i can't really say i'm missing out on things when i'm in school.

there were a lot of songs/videos that got me into brain exercising though... (use headline mode now!)

incubus - megalomaniac
i really am not sure if this video is new, or a pre-make yourself single (wow, what a fan). but really, there are some minor image changes in the band, especially in my husband (^^) brandon boyd. if i didn't hear his voice, i swear that the band was the red hot chilli peppers. what's with the longer hair, dude (though i'm not complaining about it...hehe)? plus the song and even the video would be familiarized as having a rage against the machine signature.

so many image adjustments. or maybe they're just going back to their [what's-that-album-with-the-mushroom] roots, if ever the song is new like i thought. hehe. if it's old, well, it's explainable. but i think it's new because hours later, i saw it again on mtv. speaking of seeing two videos again...

outkast - hey ya
i caught the video in myx then when i switched to mtv after the song ended, there it was again!

this song really makes me happy and all head bopping-y. and i generally have no clue why. it's been a while since i haven't seen the video, and even if i found it a little bit annoying, i couldn't stop smiling while listening to it (haha... musical antidepressant)

i was not particular of the lyrics, but since it was on myx, a local music channel that is also a hybrid of karaoke, i saw the lyrics. one line did get my attention, despite the other shallow lyrics:

"if nothing is forever, then what makes love an exception?"

heeeiieeiiaaaa!! heeeiiaaa!

mandy moore - break us in two
i'm not sure if it was break or whatever... but that's not the point. have you notice that half or even more than half of the singles that she releases are theme songs for her movies? and this song is not an exception.

we should dub her, "the princess of soundtrack music" or something.

britney spears - toxic
great. just the thing to make my morning... ugh. i suggest that she quit trying to be so madonna-like because let's face it, more people hate her than like her (as for me, i practically don't care about her, but she can be annoying).

besides, what would her 50-hour husband say?!

this video also made me realize that cheerleaders or at least the stereotype material might end up as stewardesses in the real world. hah.

skyflakes - bad thoughts
actually, i'm not sure if any of you people have seen or even heard of the video. it's a local band which i have heard of just now. the video is in pure cg, and it would remind you of that '98 japanese band, shonen knife, and their song banana chips. yeah, even in the vocals, i would have thought so, too.

the song is mellow and the vocals are quite high-pitched (think the ending song of DUAL). the video is, shall we say, innocent and cuddly, but since i saw it in myx again, i was able to see the lyrics. i'm not too accurate, but it had something like, "when i trip and lose my grip, she points to me and laughs... someday she'll get what she deserves...."

basically, it's about being molested by this girl who suffers from schadenfreude (gloating). evil. haha.

animax
okay, so this is not a video, but i haven't talked about this before anyway. for the alien tourists, it's a channel that has 24/7 anime airplay.

at first i thought that i won't be able to get my head off that channel but it turns out that half of the day includes reruns of the other half, and on the weekends, there are only recaps of all the episodes during the weekends (except for getbackers and ailes grise which only show on weekends).

and i also get to watch only a few of the anime there. gto, which i am loyally watching currently, ultra maniac, which is not really my type of anime but i enjoy it anyway, getbackers, the anime to fit my bishophillic needs and chobits, even if i have watched the series a hundred times already, but hey, you're not a solid anime fan if you get tired of watching chobits.

i'm also expecting clamp school.... i love clamp. clamp is god!

more?
more? no more. actually, there's more, but this post is getting too long.

all this time i have preoccupied myself with tv? not really. the world pretty much revolves around me, being it's mistress. but i choose not to talk about that because life has been annoying me as usual.

i really don't know if it was fun or not, but i kinda enjoyed 50% of it.

i'm talking about the outbound education, or in simple terms, the field trip. we had that today in mount makiling.

the place is twinly identical to our last OE in biak na bato, but i think i enjoyed it better than our trip now.

well, for one thing, we had the whole day but we weren't able to accomplish all of the tasks that we needed to do because lots of schools also had their field trip there. not including the other schools, we were already quite a number.

i also found it a little boring because the activities that we did were just like the ones in our last OE, too. in fact, last year's were better. majority of the day's activities went into hiking and trekking. i don't know why, but i was NOT as barely short of breath or as exhausted as my classmates. maybe because it's already been two years since i started walking home, and in doing my errands i usually walk also. so all that walking made me, i think, immune to exhaustion.

three people, two of my classmates and my social studies teacher, told me, "hey, julienne/ente is just like taking a walk in a park."

hah. well, there is actually some truth to that, because we were in a national park.

what also made it bad for me are my classmates. they would tease me, as usual, and some would throw stuff at me or push me to the river or something. haha. but i guess i was a bit stoical [being seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain.] than usual.

i was quiet most of the trip. probably because that was a defense mechanism against my bullies, but it was also because the closest to me in class and my ~see are you ess eych~ were not there. i was particularly calm and reactionless... which made me seem, well, just like taking a walk in a park. i actually wanted to scream "MOTHERFUCKERS! I'M STOIC, SO HUWHAAAAT!!!???" but that would only probably lead to people looking at me with a big HUH in their faces, and that would also make me more of a geek than they think i am.

so i only said that -word- to this guy who i dub the vocabulary guru.

anyway, i did enjoy it somehow. i was the life of the party to some people, although those people EVEN would have certain moments where they leave me ignored. but hey, gave me time for myself... i guess that's good, if you don't consider i have lots of time for that.

and i am also an avid fan of roadtrips and the outdoors. i'm very nature-inclined even if most of the time i don't care about it.

going home was actually the best part, since we were already getting wild and wacky (in a SORT OF wholesome way, of course) in the bus. hehe.

...two guys asked for my number. but believe me that doesn't mean anything or at least that isn't equivalent with the american, "can i have your number?" thing but .... why? why?? HUWAAAAII???

sorry. don't let my title decieve you. no such thing as japan idol, but it would be nice if there WERE. and japanese music and world idol ARE my main topics for today. hehe.

anyway, i am currently fixated with japanese music again. actually, my love for japanese music didn't disappear. there was a time wherein i never listened to english music and just got too addicted with jpop/jrock. after that, listening to laruku and hikki became just occassional. now i'm listening to them more often than before. but what's great about it is that i've already balanced it with listening to understandable songs.

heh. thanks to animax, they could fulfill my jpop/jrock needs visually. i saw their new segment, a-ni-mak-ku-su mi-yuu-shi-ku, or simply put, animax music. it's a segment wherein they show a portion of miscellaneous japanese music videos. so the songs are short, but hey, it will expand my jmusic knowledge, assuming how often i'll see that segment, because there isn't a regular schedule for it.

i'm also in love with chobits' second ending theme. if i heard the title from death correctly, it's ningyo hime? whatever. i could just close my eyes and sulk and be happy at the same time. not being able to hear it when i want to makes it more treasurable.

for another thing, gto has just replaced their credits songs. wah! larc's driver's high and kirari's last piece made me enjoy the show a lot more... T_T just like hey ya, driver's high makes me happy for some reason too, more so if i see it with onizuka in black and white. oh well. as the herb women's song goes, "too much of something is just as tough..." or something. haha.

i also actually watched world idol: the results tonight.... right after recapturing my youth by watching the land before time. touching, but short. and very spielberg-lucas-y. ^^

anyway, about the world idol thing. well, nothing much to say about it actually. it was my first watching of any of the idol series in fact. but i did enjoy some of it, especially the worst auditions and the nasty judges segments. hehe.

kelly clarkson didn't seem too happy about ending up in 2nd place. she got beaten by that norwegian idol, kurt nilsen who finished top 1 out of 10 out of 11 countries. cool. he did get some nasty remarks on the contest proper though.

"your voice is amazing.... but you look like a hobbit. if this were a concert for middle earth idol, people would probably find you handsome!"

eeeeeviiil. but who cares? he's like the merged version of the calling's alex band and u2's bono. hehe. he deserves it a lot. clarkson, if i hadn't known better, was probably disgusted. but hey, america's reign is slowly and sweetly declining. bwahahaha.

for a final note, here's one of the songs a person in the worst auditions sang, which probably fits my topic today:

"KONNICHIWAAAAH IS JAPANESE FOR HELLOOOW
KONNICHIWAAAH IS JAPANESE FOR HELLOWOHOOW
KONNICHIWAAAH IS JAPANESE FOR HELLOW
AND I HAVE NO IDEA OF WHAT I'M SINGING
BUT I ENJOY IT ANYWAYAYAYAYAYAAAAY!!!"